Sunday, April 18, 2010

Welcome to Holland

On Tuesday we were given instructions on how to contact the nursery to check up on Tanner and we had any of our questions answered by the nurses in the nursery. Along with an instruction paper we were given this little story to read:

“Welcome to Holland” by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this…

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum, the Michelangelo David, the gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!” you say. “What do you mean, Holland?” I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to some horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy a new guidebook. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It’s slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around… and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills… Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

The pain of that will never, ever, go away… because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things… about Holland.




After reading it I felt like this story sums up almost any disappointment we can go through in life. How we expect a certain outcome and are shocked when it doesn't happen that way. It has been like that for me the last week. "Being in Holland" has been a very different and very trying test for Kevin and I. We are very lucky to have the loving and supporting family that we do. Although we did not plan for this situation we will keep with it. And I know that one day we will look back at this and realize that it wasn't so bad and that we have learned a lot from it.

Life throws you curve balls sometimes and you just have to go with it and make it work.

1 comments:

Jenny said...

congrats on your beautiful baby. Our prayers are with you and your family. Hope he comes home soon.